Wednesday, August 13, 2008

In Alaska



Via text message from Shep and Johnny, They are now in our 49th State.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Canadian Rockies

Day ??? Calgary to Banff

We left Calgary and drove to Banff, a resort town in the Canadian Rockies.

We camped outside of town at Tunnel Mountain Resort. As we were setting up camp, a coyote strolled by with its dinner in its mouth. It set it down and started going to town and then took off when we starting taking pictures.


After we had our tent [note: we've been sleeping in a small two-man tent designed for backcountry hiking] set up, the guy camping across the way walked by our campsite. He comments, "That looks like the Brokeback Mountain Tent." What does that even mean?

Banff is a pretty touristy little place, which both John and I kind of find annoying, but the hiking in the area is amazing. We did a day hike up a mountain where the rock formed a natural ampitheatre. It was amazing! Check out the pics.





After the hike, we relaxed at the Banff Hot Springs. It was pretty much a multi-cultural swimming pool. There had to have been a least a dozen languages spoken there.


It's time to go eat dinner. I'll write more later on down the trail. The best part is coming up, getting caught in a storm on top of a mountain!

More make-up posts from the road

Days Three and Four: Glacier National Park [Backcountry]
We spent the next two nights camping in the backcountry. Here is a picture of us right before we hit the trail.

The first day we hike about 6.5 miles to Poia Lake campground.



We ended up camping here two nights, because were unable to get another backcountry site. As a result, the second day we did a day trip to Red Gap Pass (there and back). You can see the red rock for which it gets its name.






Day Five: Glacier National Park to Calgary, Alberta

We exited the park, after seeing some amazing stuff, but no bears or moose unfortunately. On our way down the mountain we ran into a group of four hardcore grandmas packed up and ready to hit the backcountry. They told us they saw a grizzly at the trail head, but by the time we got down there, we didn't see anything.

On our way out of Montana, we stopped at a little general store to re-pack the car. Incidentally, we have to do this all the time, anytime we camp or even go into a hostel, everything gets all jacked up and the car is full to the brim anyway. Most of my life is in the car. I'm also constantly losing stuff amongst all the junk and the packing and re-packing. Anyway, in front of this store, is a true cowboy sitting on a bench. He's wearing sunglasses on his ruddy face. In fact, it looks like his whole head has been smudged out with sandpaper. Hard living.

John empties out the cooler and distributes some miscellaneous Rolling Rocks that are almost warm to the cowboy. He sets them next to his boots, because he is already nursing one. After we tell him, we are headed to Anchorage, he volunteers that he made it to Anchorage in 32 hours once. "Anchorage", he says, "There's a lot of whores in Anchorage." He had a look of fond reminiscence on his face as he delivered this gem.

I believe he even told us to get us some of them whores, as we got into the car to leave.

Arriving in Calgary

We pull into Calgary in the early evening. Calgary or maybe it is just Alberta is called the New West according to many billboards, for whatever that's worth. I'm not sure what that means really!

We had reservations for a hostel in the city which sits just east of the city center. As we pull in front of the hostel (which looks quite nice), we notice that the surrounding area is a bit run down. Lots of vagrants and shady interactions occurring on the street.

We get into the hostel and after paying and whatnot, I ask the front desk attendant if it is okay to leave my car out on the street for the next two nights, given what I had observed.

Woman: Oh, yeah. I've worked here two months. It's completely safe.
Me (inner monologue): When I got out of my car, there was a guy on the corner barking at the sky! And a diseased prostitute strolled by, belly extended, looking for business.
Woman: You can park downtown, but Calgary is ranked as the 18th most expensive downtown in the world!
Johnny (inner monologue): You're full of S**t!
Me: I think we'll check out the parking downtown.

Here's a picture of downtown Calgary. They have a ridiculous space needle that is smaller than most every other building in the downtown.



Other Amusing Quotes/Interchanges from downtown Calgary:

1. Walking next to the tram platform, a man randomly comments to us and points to a woman on the other side of the street, "Gentlemen, now that is a pair of legs." Inner Monologue: "Oh, I'm sorry, were we having a conversation with you."

2. The Calgary tram peace officer pulls up alongside as we are walking along the sidewalk. [Note: Some would say we had just errantly crossed the street in front of an oncoming tram, but, for the record, it was a considerable distance away, though, nevertheless illegal].
Officer: Hey, guys. Do you know why I am stopping.
Us: Yes. We shouldn't of crossed in front of the tram back there.
Officer: Gosh, that was close one. You were really close to getting hit back there. Do you know what happens when you get hit by the tram? Death.
Us: Yeah, sorry about that. We won't do it again.





At Long Last: Vignettes from the Road

Internet has been sporadic, so other than occasionally posting some photos on facebook, we haven't managed to write much about our trip. And when I do get the time, I realize I am exhausted and not feeling creative enough. That being said, I'll try to suck it up for the time being and tell a little about what has been happening so far. Here goes:
Day 1- Minneapolis to Deadwood, South Dakota

Not that interesting of a drive actually. South Dakota is pretty flat until you get to the Southwest Corner. As Sturgis--the bike rally--was starting the day we rolled into Deadwood, we passed a lot of bikers en route. The main highlights were the drive through The Badlands.




After the Badlands, we went to Wall, SD, which had been advertised vigorously across the State, as if were the greatest attraction of all time. If you're into cliches and the ridiculous trinkets that you can pick up at truck stops all across America, then the Wall Drug Store is your place. The store was staffed by young foreigners (mainly from Eastern Europe and Russia it seemed). Poor Bastards probably waited in lengthy lines and waded through tons of bureaucratic red tape to go to America and end up in the ass crack of South Dakota dealing with America's finest--the obnoxious tourist. Needless to say, we grabbed a burger and left this place pretty quick.

The next stop on the way to Deadwood was Mt. Rushmore. I thought it would be one of those sites where it was quite less impressive in person, but I was pleasantly surprised. Pretty Cool!


The funniest thing about Mt. Rushmore were the signs on the way there for a rather dubious attraction entitled Cosmo's Mystery Area. The signs encouraged visitors to "See it, Feel it" because "It's Crazy!" I know one thing:No one is allowed to feel my mystery area without permission.


Deadwood was ridiculously packed with bikers. It's a pretty cool little tourist town though. We ate a crappy meal at this bar among old dirty bikers and their unfortunately scantily clad wives and girlfriends. The bar served Budweiser cans and had sawdust on the floor. We spent the rest of the evening playing blackjack at a casino where John actually came out on top and I lost a few bucks.

Day Two: Deadwood, SD to St. Mary's, Montana (Glacier National Park)

I can't remember much of this leg of the trip now. I remember it was quite pretty leaving Deadwood and then sort of flattened out into Montana farm land. We camped for the night just inside Glacier National Park at St. Mary's Campground (below). It is hard to see how amazing the view was from these pictures, but I have never camped in such a beautiful campground.



Days Three and Four: Glacier National Park [Backcountry]
We spent the next two nights camping in the backcountry at Poia Lake and hiking to/from that point.


Day Five: Glacier National Park to Calgary, Alberta

We exited the park, after seeing some amazing stuff, but no bears or moose unfortunately. On our way down the mountain we ran into a group of four hardcore grandmas packed up and ready to hit the backcountry. They told us they saw a grizzly at the trail head, but by the time we got down there, we didn't see anything.

On our way out of Montana, we stopped at a little general store to re-pack the car. Incidentally, we have to do this all the time, anytime we camp or even go into a hostel, everything gets all jacked up and the car is full to the brim anyway. Most of my life is in the car. I'm also constantly losing stuff amongst all the junk and the packing and re-packing. Anyway, in front of this store, is a true cowboy sitting on a bench. He's wearing sunglasses on his ruddy face. In fact, it looks like his whole head has been smudged out with sandpaper. Hard living. John empties out the cooler and distributes some miscellaneous Rolling Rocks that are almost warm to the cowboy. He sets them next to his boots, because he is already nursing one. After we tell him, we are headed to Anchorage, he volunteers that he made it to Anchorage in 32 hours once. "Anchorage", he says, "There's a lot of whores in Anchorage." I believe he even told us to get us some of them whores, as we got into the car to leave.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

On Notice


a quick educated guess at the things they've put on notice already...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Top 5 Daily Show Ted Stevens Moments

For a good laugh, check out all of these classic Ted Stevens moments:

Here's my favorite, the internets are a series of tubes:

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Going to the Sun Road



A video tour of the Going to the Sun Road that cuts across Glacier National Park and a cool video showing the snow plowing still happening in JUNE

No one is safe from bears



From the US Senior Open this weekend, hopefully the boys will not encounter killer bears, foxes, and deer as they begin their time in Glacier National Park.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Game Plan

So after hours of debate, fist-fighting, and paper, rocks, scissors (which I think is called fargle or farkle), Johnny and I have outlined a tentative schedule for our trip. We have yet to flesh out the details of each actual stop so input is appreciated.

Alaska Trip

1. Day 1: August 2

a. Minneapolis – Exit 131 (Cactus Flat)

i. 534 miles

1. 7 hrs, 38 mins

b. Badlands National Park

i. Route 240 is the badlands loop-

1. Ca. 40 miles from Cactus flats- Wall,SD

2. 1-2 hours

c. Wall, SD- Mount Rushmore, SD

i. 78 Miles

ii. 1.5 hours

d. Mount Rushmore, SD- Deadwood, SD

i. 48 miles

ii. 1 hour

2. Day 2: August 3

a. Deadwood, SD- Yellowstone NP

i. 443 miles

ii. 7.5 hours?

3. Day 3: August 4

a. Yellowstone/Tetons

4. Day 4: August 5

a. Jackson – Whitefish

b. 522 miles

c. 7-8 hours

i. Ask Sean best route

5. Day 5: August 6

a. Glacier National Park

6. Day 6: August 7

a. Glacier National Park

7. Day 7: August 8:

a. Glacier – Calgary

i. 229 Miles

ii. 4 hrs, 45 mins

8. Day 8: August 9

a. Calgary – Banff

i. 119 miles

ii. 2 hours

9. Day 9: August 10

a. Banff - Jasper

i. 138 Miles

ii. 3 hours

10. Day 10: August 11

a. Jasper – Fort Nelson

i. 608 miles

ii. 11 hours

11. Day 11: August 12

a. Fort Nelson – Teslin, Yukon

b. 480 miles,

c. 9 hours

12. Day 12: August 13

a. Teslin, Yukon – Haines, Alaska

i. 213 miles

ii. 5 hours

13. Day 13: August 14

a. Extra Day (Haines/National Parks??)

14. Day 14: August 15

a. Haines – Tok, Alaska

i. 438 Miles

ii. 9 hours

15. Day 15: August 16

a. Tok, Alaska – Healy/Denali

b. 312 miles

c. 5 hours

16. Day 16: August 17

a. Denali Day

17. Day 17: August 18

a. Extra Day

18. Day 18: August 19

a. Extra Day

19. Day 19: August 20

a. Kenai

20. Healy- Kenai

a. 406 miles

b. 7 hours, 20 mins

21. Totals:

a. Ca. 83.5 hours

b. Ca. 4600 miles

Thursday, April 24, 2008

North To Alaska

The plot of the 1960 film, North To Alaska, sounds nothing like our proposed trip:

Sam (John Wayne) and George (Stewart Granger) strike gold in Alaska. George sends Sam to Seattle to bring George's fiance back to Alaska. Sam finds she is already married, and returns instead with Angel (Capucine). Sam, after trying to get George and Angel together, finally romances Angel, who, in the meantime, is busy fighting off the advances of George's younger brother, Billy (Fabian). Frankie (Ernie Kovacs) is a con man trying to steal the partner's gold claim.

But, we do need to plan our travel route. Here are the three main routes to Alaska (of course, you can also take a plane):

select a route to start planning your trip

Driving route maps

I think the route in purple requires swimming so that is out. I'm not a very strong swimmer.

--Shep

Another article about yesterday's bear attack

Seriously, don't be a bear handler kids... Look at Rocky (the pictured bear), he is FREAKING HUGE and a killing machine, run don't walk away if you ever see Rocky on the street.

Will Ferrell bear's grizzly killing

April 23, 2008 02:00pm The Daily Telegraph

THE 320kg grizzly bear that wrestled Will Ferrell in his comedy hit Semi-Pro has mauled a handler to death on an exotic animals range outside Los Angeles.

The 2.3m grizzly bear known as Rocky killed a trainer at the private US facility for exotic animals used in movies and television, authorities said.

Three experienced handlers were working with the bear at Randy Miller's Predators in Action facility in California today when the bear bit the 39-year-old man on the neck, said San Bernardi County sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Beavers.

The centre's staff used capsicum spray to subdue and contain the bear and there were no other injuries, she said.

Emergency teams responded to the incident, but could not revive the man.

The victim's name was not immediately released.

Sheriff's Sgt. Dave Phelps said the bear was a five-year-old male named Rocky.

The Predators in Action web site said Rocky appeared in a scene in Semi-Pro in which Will Ferrell's character wrestles a bear to promote his basketball team.

Calls seeking comment from Miller, a stuntman and operator of Predators in Action, were not immediately returned.

Miller doubled for Ferrell in the bear wrestling match, according to the centre's site.

The centre, located in the San Bernardino Mountains east of Los Angeles, has two grizzlies, and also trains lions, tigers, leopards, cougars and wolves for uses ranging from film and TV to advertising and education.

Bigger Threat to America?: Robot Bears or Real Bears?



Look for a vote on Robot Bears vs. Real Bears in the future...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Bears Revisited

According to my brother, in a comment to one of our posts, google lists the following when you enter in bears:

I find it amusing that the the top three things that come up are:
1. Real Bears http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear
2. Friendly men with beards (did you know there is an official flag?) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_community
3. Chicago Bears http://www.chicagobears.com

And, of course, according to the truthiness encylcopedia, the real threat to america is bears http://www.wikiality.com/Bears

Johnny's contrbution

So...

A Bear walks into the a bar and says "Bartender, give me a beer."

Bartender says "Sorry Bear, we don't serve animals here."

Bear says "Look- if you don't give me a beer then I'm going to eat someone."

Bartender says "Bear- you do what you've gotta do- but I'm not serving you a drop."

Bear says "Whatever"

The Bear goes to the end of the bar and eats the lady sitting at the bar. All the patrons freak out and leave. Bloody mess.

Bear licks his lips and returns to the bar.

Bear says "see, I told you I'd eat someone if you didn't give me a beer. Now give me one before I eat someone else."

Bartender says "I'm not giving you a beer now, you're on drugs Bear."

Bear says "I'm not on drugs---"

Bartender says "Oh yay! That was the barbituate."

HAHAHAHAHA! Bear humor.

I just want everyone to know that if it comes down to it I can run faster than Shep so if anyone is going to get eaten it's his sorry ass.

Bears

Bears will be one of the subjects of our blog. I hope very much to not get eaten by a bear in the coming year. Here is an article about a bear that kills:

Bear gave off no reasons for concern before trainer's death
ASSOCIATED PRESS
04/23/2008

BIG BEAR LAKE, Calif. -- The grizzly bear that wrestled Will Ferrell's character in the recent film "Semi-Pro" seemed to obediently follow cues -- which made its killing of its trainer with a bite to the neck all the more stunning.

Three experienced handlers were working with the grizzly Tuesday at the Predators in Action wild animal training center when the bear attacked Stephan Miller, 39, said San Bernardino County sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Beavers.

Stephan Miller is the cousin of training center owner Randy Miller, she said.

Pepper spray was used to subdue and contain the bear, and there were no other injuries, Beavers said. Paramedics arriving shortly after the initial emergency call around 3 p.m. were unable to revive Stephan Miller.

The state Department of Fish and Game and Occupational Safety and Health Administration were investigating the incident.

Fish and game spokesman Harry Morse told the San Bernardino Sun Tuesday his department would not decide whether the bear will be euthanized because the attack occurred outside its jurisdiction during a training session on facility grounds.

Morse speculated that the county animal care officials may decide the bear's fate. A call placed early Wednesday to the county's Animal Care and Control Program was not answered.

Sheriff's Sgt. Dave Phelps said the bear was a 5-year-old male named Rocky. The Predators in Action Web site said Rocky is 7.5 feet tall and weighs 700 pounds.

The site, which was off-line early Wednesday due to overtaxed bandwidth, identified Rocky as the animal that appeared with Ferrell's character in the scene from "Semi-Pro." Randy Miller doubled for Ferrell in the bear wrestling match, according to the site.

Calls seeking comment from Randy Miller were not immediately returned Tuesday evening.

The center, located in the San Bernardino Mountains east of Los Angeles, has two grizzlies, and also trains lions, tigers, leopards, cougars and wolves for uses ranging from film and TV to advertising and education.

In a February interview, Randy Miller called Rocky "the best working bear in the business," the San Bernardino Sun reported on its Web site Wednesday. But, the paper quoted him as saying, "If one of these animals gets a hold of your throat, you're finished."

Randy Miller has 25 years of experience training animals and his facility has had a perfect safety record, according to the site.

Randy Miller won a World Stunt Academy Award for his work wrestling tigers in the 2000 blockbuster "Gladiator" and performed stunts with his animals in films like "The Postman," "The Island of Dr. Moreau," and "The Last Samurai." He also helped recreate animal attacks for National Geographic documentaries and the Discovery Channel.

It was not immediately known how long Rocky has been at the facility.

The attack prompted actress Virginia McKenna, founder of the international wildlife charity Born Free, to call for the entertainment industry to stop using wild animals.

"The movie industry urgently needs to use its technological and creative imagination to put an end to the use of live wild animals in commercials and movies," McKenna, who starred in the 1966 wildlife film "Born Free," said in a printed release. "Hollywood is a dream factory -- this time the dream has become a nightmare."

Denise Richards, who works with wild animals at Moonridge Zoo, a sanctuary for injured and homeless wildlife in nearby Big Bear Lake, said trained animals that turn on their handlers are often destroyed.

"You can train them and use as many safety precautions as you can, but you're still taking a chance if you're putting yourself in contact with them," Richards said. "It's still a wild animal. Even though it may appear that the bear attacked for no reason, there was a reason. I'm sure Randy understands why it happened. They're not cold-blooded killers."

Native grizzly bears are extinct in California.

Welcome to our Blog!

So Johnny and I decided to create a blog to document our Great Alaska Road Trip: Operation Magnanimous Grizzly Bear. Although we're not leaving until August, we thought we we would start it now as we begin to plan the trip. Please participate in the process by posting on our blog! I hope this blog will be humorous, but I realize I have written nothing funny so far. . . shit!

Shep